Eve Teasing and why everyone is suffering coz of it

PS: This post is written from a guy point of view, so all ladies out there please feel free to modify it as you read.

As I had promised in my previous post, here is the follow up. Meanwhile, after my previous post, I got a lot of interesting feedback. A lot of appreciation along with a lot of guys who choose to take a stand against the issue. Which I think is very commendable.

I discussed this issue with a few of my friends who are into psychology, human behavior and that kind of stuff on why do people do this kind of stuff. And here is what we concluded from the discussion:

  • It gives them a sense of superiority. The fact that they can outrage some woman’s modesty without her being able to do anything, provides them a self ego boost. Something similar reason to why seniors get pleasure by ragging juniors. I didn’t think it was just this so we explored further and,
  • Lack of healthy interaction with the opposite sex came up as a major factor.

This is very true in a closed society like India where we are still struggling to define a lot of new found liberties. This is quite a concern since even today two guys getting close is not as much a problem as a heterosexual couple even holding hands ( Read the post on how Darjeeling banned holding hands in public). This may also be coz 2 guys can be thought of as friends but a guy and a girl cannot be accepted as friends freely in the otherwise homophobic society of ours. In fact, its an irony that our society gives freedom for its citizen to become homosexuals but refuses to except homosexuality ( ever wondered about this when a lot of parents never have issues with you hanging out with a group of guy friends but wanted you to take it easy when it came to spending time with your females friends). Growing up in such a society makes it very easy for any one to become a psychopathic coz they have never been taught how to healthily interact with the opposite sex. Perhaps this also explains why its directed at women.

In the end, there was one thing that we all agreed to. Eve Teasing is causing all of us harm. yes, even the eve teasers. Eve teasing is pushing the society into conservatism and prevents healthy interaction between the opposite sexes. As our society continues to make our women more and more uncomfortable, we push them further away from the mainstream. Perhaps there will soon be a time when all our women will have to be covered in a Burqa. Now, c’mon guys I don’t thing you would want such a medieval thing as that! There must have happened at least one time in all our lives when you would have prayed to god to make a lot of beautiful women so that all of us can have have the most beautiful girlfriends. Now when we have quite a lot of them ( thanks to our society becoming a lot bolder, thanks to westernization ) why would you want to
loose all that?

Also, A woman who has been harassed is more likely to be suspicious of any man she meets. As more and more women fall victim to the menace, the chances of the men ( including the eve teasers) to find suitable partners decrease exponentially. While eve teasing gives the eve teasers a temporary ego boost, it damages their chances permanently. So if any of you guys are reading this… If you don’t want to remain single for life, then you really need to rethink your actions.

Our society needs to change. Yes, and this time the men have to take charge. It is time we give women their due respect and place in society. It is time we stop behaving like losers and stand up for what is right. It is time we stop eve teasing. It is time to change.

As to how to avoid eve-teasing. I am not really the right person to give out tips. Ill leave that to all the female readers to give the feedback. But there is one place all of can contribute, BLANK NOISE . Its a group of people who are really capable of doing something about street harassment, as they like to call it.

FOLLOW UP : Just to see how the man woman dynamics work in the real world. Me and my friends did some experiments with random people, findings of which will be up in a weeks time. Trust me, you will not want to miss out on this.

  • Kavita TM

    Hello Aditya! This is an awesome post and I feel so glad a man has written it. What do you think about substituting the term “Eve teasing” to something more specific like “sexual molestation”? After all, eve-teasing sounds so harmless!

    • http://www.adityakumarnayak.com Aditya Kumar Nayak

      hmm. Firstly, its not that we don’t understand the issue but the thing with human pysche is that you take notice when it hurts. :)

      And Sexual molestation is something very specific. Giving creepy looks to a woman and making her uncomfortable may not be sexual molestation but is definitely eve teasing and is something that needs to be addressed. :)

  • http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/ Indian Homemaker

    Brilliantly written post.
    I feel the better term to use here is ‘Street Sexual Harassment’. Calling it ‘Eve Teasing’ trivializes the crime.
    Another phrase that needs to be changed is ‘outraging the modesty of a woman’ – I find the phrase outrageous.
    Take a look at this post by Usha to understand why, http://agelessbonding.blogspot.com/2010/01/outraging-modesty.html

    • http://www.adityakumarnayak.com Aditya Kumar Nayak

      Thanks a lot for the link. Going through it. And I agree that phrase is a bit outdated. :)

  • Nidaa C.

    Awesome post dude…

  • http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/ Indianhomemaker

    Congratulations :) This post in one of the winners of ‘Tejaswee Rao Blogging Awards – 2011’ (TRBA 2011). We would like to create an ebook with all the winning entries in 47 categories on Feminism and Gender Issues in India (and one category on Animals Rights). Please do let us know if you are fine with your winning post/s being included in this ebook. ( Please click here to let us know).